'Eat this, Richard', says irate Virgin passenger

A disgruntled passenger on a Virgin Atlantic flight who sent a hilarious complaint letter to the airline's boss, Sir Richard Branson, about the catering on a Mumbai-Heathrow flight has been offered a job as the airline's food tester.

The author, who described his Virgin flight from Mumbai to Heathrow as a "culinary journey of hell", has been invited to select the food and wines for future flights. The 1000-word tirade has whipped around the internet, and the UK's Telegraph newspaper called it one the best airline complaints in the world.

Complete with embarrassing photographs, the email tells Branson the main meal was like being given a dead hamster as a Christmas present. The London-based passenger also moans about the size and "baffling presentation" of the "criminal" cookie he was served. "It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime - a crime against bloody cooking. Either that or some sort of backstreet underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast."

The email continued: "On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown, glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird."

"Imagine being a 12-year-old boy Richard," the email says. "Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sitting there with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out of the catalogue and wrote to Santa about. Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster, Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this."

The dessert was just as bad, with the passenger asking:  "What sort of animal would serve a desert (sic) with peas in? "I know it looks like a baaji but it's in custard Richard, custard," the passenger wrote.

"It must be the pudding. Well you'll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It's only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter."

Getting a little personal, the email says, "How can you live like this? I can't imagine what dinner round your house is like; it must be like something out of a nature documentary." The in-flight entertainment was also not spared, with the passenger complaining about a "flickering" television screen.

Sir Richard Branson was quick to telephone the author of the letter (who has since been revealed) and thanked him for his "constructive if tongue-in-cheek" email.

Paul Charles, Virgin's Director of Corporate Communications, said Virgin was sorry the passenger had not liked the "award-winning" in-flight meals which he said were "very popular on our Indian routes".

"Richard was absolutely right to call the guy who complained and chat it through with him. It was a witty letter and, while we may not agree with all of it, we're not proud of ourselves if someone's disappointed with something on board."

"We look forward to welcoming the complainant on a flight again soon and, in fact, we've invited him to come and help select the next range of meals and wines we serve on board so that he can add his personal touch on behalf of all of our customers," said Charles. The passenger has not yet confirmed whether he would take up the opportunity.